...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
