Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
