My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
