The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
