sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
