Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
