What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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