dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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