This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
