After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
