just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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