I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
