When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
