Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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