i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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