My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
