New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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