I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
