Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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