maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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