i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
