Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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