I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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