Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
