Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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