just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
