in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
