so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
