I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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