Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
