if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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