I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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