I love black thongs
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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