hotel room ftw
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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