So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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