My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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