$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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