absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
