never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
