If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
