Will you blow on my dice?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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