i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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