is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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