nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
