I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
