ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
