he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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