he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize