the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
