i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
