She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
