LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
