yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Pants are for mortals
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
