i was born a porn star she said
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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