just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
