I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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